Saturday, December 11, 2010

solving puzzles

It has been tugging at my brain, and I've figured it out.

My indifference funk this time isn't as much random as it is subconsciously premeditated.
It's a defense mechanism.

Because I can't afford to feel certain things, this time. I can't afford to have expectations, because I can't afford to lose expectations. I am in some small degree of trauma recovery, and my brain understood that before I did.

And because we can't choose to be selectively indifferent, here I am. How I am.


So perhaps, this time, instead of trying to fight indifference as I usually do,
I should just embrace it.


Oh, Apathy, you smell like love.

1 comment:

  1. embrace the apathy. Once I did, it became much more pleasant.

    ReplyDelete

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