Phantom Pains

I sawed it off in the middle of the night. Abruptly, because I didn't know what else to do.

Abruptly, because it was hurting my shoulder, and my head, and my chest.

All it took was one swift cut, one smooth motion.

And maybe when I wake up tomorrow, I'll stop trying to use it, stop trying to reach with it,

stop trying to eat with it, stop trying to dry my eyes on the back of a missing arm.

I'm holding an empty shoulder socket and rocking it to sleep,

cigarettes to take the place of painkillers,

cigarettes to take me to Lethe.