Monday, October 18, 2010

Ma chambre a la forme d'une cage

Why am I doing what I am preparing myself to do?

Because it's exciting, I told all the curious onlookers, the nonchalant spectators in the stand. Because it's good for my studies. It'll help me get a job. Or if not a job, at least a double-take on my grad-school applications. Because I am ambitious.
Because I am restless and can never be in one place for too long.
Because I am hungry to see more, learn more.
Because my stage is never big enough.
Because I want a challenge.

Or is that what it really is? I asked myself quietly when they all went home. Is that all there is to it?

Or is the real reason because the plug has been pulled for so long that you don't know how to reconnect, so now you're left running, jumping, leaping from change to change in attempts to find change of the right size?

Because it's not that you're restless, but rather you're a little, unanchored girl, floating around in hopes of bumping into your roots.

Because you want escapism and this is the only way you know how to get it?

I don't know. I haven't figured out the answer yet.

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