The world feels so large today. So unbearably large.
So large that it seems like no matter what I do, no matter who I meet, no matter how many ladders I try to construct or nights I spend in small rooms with loud music, sputtering on liquid Lethe,
I will never be able to bridge the oceans or sew together that horrible gap of vast nothingness between me and everything else.
Where are you? Will I ever find you in the 7 billion people out there?
What is destiny but coincidence?
Odysseus said "Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity." Is it bad that it is not eternity's vastness that haunts me but rather the vastness of what is now?
The vastness of human possibility, the vastness of all that we can't achieve, the vastness of everyone I will never meet, the vastness of the ground I will never cover, the things I will never do. I usually don't think this way. I usually soak in and rejoice in the large unknown. I usually celebrate it.
But today, I am scared of it.